++ MADNESS IN EGYPT ++

This is the 18 June 2005 edition of this page

                                 CHAPTER THREE

                       POLICE INEFFICIENCES, or "COCK-UPS IN CAIRO" 


Two massive "Cockups" were experienced and they were:

     (1) Reporting of  spectacles lost in the desert to the police!!
     (2) The hassle with Egypt Air concerning the non-availability of their aircraft.

This is just to introduce these problems - whose details are dealt with as follows:-

1.LOST SPECTACLES NEAR 'STEPPED PYRAMID'


Wandering around this place which I'd learned about 'years ago' as a schoolboy, I marvelled at its construction and appeal. I photographed it many times from different angles as I was still as excited as a schoolboy. One of our guides, kindly enough, photographed me in front of it as well. There I was, in this very dry heat, posing for the 'shot' he took.

Just after the photo, I went back to him, thanked him for his kindness, and ...."Whoosh!!", and fast, very hot, desert gust of wind whisked my hat off and blew it at high speed across this desert- complex. I needed that hat for survival purposes - so I accelerated my legs to a high-speed and caught it up. So far so good. I then retraced my steps to my guide - who complemented me on my "turn of speed" but still called me a fool for moving that quick in the desert!!!

It was then, when I realised that he wasn't in a very good focus, that I further realised that my spectacles (bi-focals) had been whipped off by the hat-string just as that had been whipped off by the wind.

By then, I was on the periphery of the Step Pyramid's complex - and now there would be no opportunity to recover the missing bifocals! On talking to my guide afterwards, he recommended that an Insurance claim be submittted for them. I realised that this is essential because the 'Company' tells me that, too. Such claim must be done in a certain time - and it MUST be reported to the local police.

Well, I don't speak the police's language - and they don't understand mine!! So my guide's suggestion is to get his bi-lingual colleague to take a statement from me - and then he can make the (written) statement to the Cairo police!

So, in this very grotty police-station, surrounded by bashed-up cars and very nervous looking defendents, I proceeded to relate to an Egyptian-speaking member of the SAGA tribe (their Cairo rep - not my guide) the story of how my hat and spectacles had disappeared (as above) - these being my bifocals. I answered his enquiries in detail and gave the full ENGLISH story.

Having satisfied this insurance-requirement (like making the police-report within so many hours!), I then sat around this grotty office while he translated the whole lot into Egyptian. That, I thought, might be the end of it!!

Far from being the end, the local police-officer then realised that it was not in the correct format for HIS report. What the SAGA guy had done was to give my 'civilian' report in Egyptian. So the next thing that had to be done was to fill in the OFFICIAL version in the correct format.

I waited another long while, whilst officialdom took its course, - so now its over!?? Not a bit of it!! The whole reason is for informing the local police about the loss of my bifocals for insurance purposes. The English Insurers are hardly going to be able to read this Egyptian official report. Thus I needed to get the Egyptian-speaking SAGA-man to translate it back into English and then I could give photostat copies in BOTH languages to my insurers!

Well, I don't know how many of you have played that Party-Game (entirely with a group speaking the same language) - where a message gets passed from A to B, B to C, C to D, D to X, and thence X to A to complete the loop. I remember playing it in 1955-6 whilst a trainee in the RAF. Of course, some clever-dick would change it completely - and in our case, DID!

My memories of this experiment in the 'fifties' came flooding back when I read the English translation of the 'official' Egyptian report. My initial report of ".. the loss of my 'bifocal' specs near the famous Step Pyramid" had been transformed into the "Loss of a double-telescope in the Desert!"

My eventual submission to the Insurance Company - when back in England - gave me a cheque enabling me to buy 60% of my next pair of 'bifocals' - and nothing left over to buy even a single-telescope!!

2. EGYPT-AIR's COCK-UPs There were a series of cockups which are dealt with in
the Next chapter.

They included:-
Not checking-out the plane before passengers shepherded on. Passengers subjected to intolerable heat during delayed takeoff. Passengers returned to terminal - and forgotten about. Passengers refused meals/refreshments during the periodically extended delays.
Let's return to Egyptian index for reorientation.
.. or read the trip plan from the 1996 story in its Egypt Notes.
Return to Roy's home page for full list of books, travelogues and other writings either finished or under preparation.